So, you want to burn down your house.

I don't think burning your house down would be a very good idea.  I mean there are a lot of drawbacks to actually setting your house on fire.  Just so you can better understand my opposition to burning your house down, I have prepared this summary of this disadvantages.
  1. You won't have a place to live.  This is one of the most important ones.  Unless you have some other place to live, you will likely be out on the street because you will not have a house to live in.
  2. Many of your posessions will be damaged or destroyed.  Many of the things that you currently own are stored in your house.  Fire will most likely destroy these posessions.
  3. You won't be able to invite people over.  Next time you are with your friends and you invite them over to your place, for example to watch a sports game, they will not only find that you do not have a house (see #1), but that your television is destroyed (see #2).  This could be a very embarassing situation.
  4. The fire could spread.  Not all fires stay located to one general area.  Sometimes fires can keep going and spread to your car, your lawn, or other people's homes.  This would be especially likely if you live in an apartment complex.  This would not be very considerate to the people that live next to you.
  5. People could die.  Other people who live in your house, such as other family members, could be injured or killed in the fire, especially if you do not tell them you are planning on setting fire to your house.  People who come to put the fire out ("firefighters") could also risk their lives to put out an unnecessary fire.
  6. You'll have to use a lot of matches.  Setting a house on fire would require a lot of matches, lighter fluid, or whatever it is you use to burn things.  Houses are big, man.
  7. People might think you're kind of weird.  People who set their houses on fire for no reason are kind of thought to be a little "weird."  I understand that this is a harsh stereotype, and is in no way representative of the actual population, but this is the way many "pyro-phobes" will look at you.
  8. Air pollution.  All the smoke that would come from your burning house would pollute the air, and the excessive carbon dioxide would contribute to the earth's global warming.
  9. It's against the law.  I don't think it's legal to destroy property.  You could probably go to jail or get a fine for burning your house down.
  10. Smoke detectors.  Before all the smoke detectors in your house short out and start to melt, they will all go off and make that really annoying noise.
  11. U.S. postal mail.  Without a house to deliver it to, you probably won't get your mail or any packages you were going to recieve.
  12. No garage.  You won't have a garage to store your car in, so you'll have to scrape your windows on cold frosty mornings.
I hope that after reading this document you have agreed that it would not be such a good idea to burn down your house.  If you disagree, or have burned down your house in the past, write me.

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