Driver's Death (B. Rogers)

Brian wrote this song while he was in Driver's Ed. class. It was the beginning of our preoccupation with crystal meth. This song actually comes in three different versions: the one you see here, the live version (skips the spoken word part), and a twenty-minute-long version that we might use as a bonus track to something someday.

Editor's note: We never ended up doing the 20 minute version, and I had forgotten about it until I started writing this description. Sounds like a good idea, though. Right up there with YSIB 253! Inside joke alert....

Driver's Ed. sucks, it's boring
The class just began, I'm snoring
The previous line, an expression
How does this help the recession?

The teacher is a freak
I've known that all week
Even though I just started today
You're taking literally everything I say....
...about Driver's Ed.

Hereafter referred to as Driver's Death
I hate Driver's Death
Instead of reading the chapter I did crystal meth

Guy #1: Wait a minute, is that guy really addicted to crystal meth?
Guy #2: Probably, I remember him saying we should take everything he says literally.
Guy #1: "We should take everything he says literally," what, are you a nerd or somethin'?
Guy #2: No, I'm cool, really.... oh, hey, watch out!

[Car crashes and explodes]

Narrator: It's sad, really...two teenagers killed a preventable car accident. Wait a minute, maybe I should have said earlier that they were driving. Then this would have made a lot more sense. Well, at least I have this crystal meth here.

Chris: Kids! Don't do drugs!